This story took place when I was 6 or 7. Or somewhere around there. It’s the story of my first sexual experience. So…uh…pedophiles, please don’t read this.
Okay now look, I’m not sure which book it actually was that sparked my first sexual experience but I’m gonna venture a guess here at “Curious George” cause when it happened I was extremely curious and it involved my monkey. It really coulda been any book, though, came what got me going so hot wasn’t the story but the book itself – the large, thing, square, hardback children’s book that I was at the time propping with my crotch. I was laying down on my bed, see, on my back, with my head propped up on my fluffy pillows, just reading intently and innocently like a well-behaved, perfectly appropriate little boy should be doing. So yeah, it could’ve been any book, but the specific title I do not remember.
What I do remember, however, is that this was the very first moment that Mother Nature blessed me with a feeling in my most manly of parts…
‘Ooo, the Man in the Yellow Hat was angry,’ I read, ‘He’d had enough of Curious George’s bullshit. ‘Goddammit George,’ he said, ‘ You’re being a bad little monkey! You know you shouldn’t be touching that thing -‘
“WHOA!” I suddenly cry, “What the heck?!” For my young dick had just jolted and a shockwave of unprecedented pleasure had shot throughout – balls to head and back again. “Now what on earth was that?!”
I regather myself for a moment and then, completely distracted from all dreading, do again what I’d been doing before – I press the book down again on that particular part of my member from whence the pleasure had originally came.
Another pleasure hold. Same mid-dick soft spot, right there on the underbelly. Same powerful sensation.
So I do it again.
Again! Again! Again!
ZAPPITY ZAP-ZAP KABOOm!
God, what a climactic feeling! Incredible!
And then nothing.
I press again. And again. And again. But nothing! After that big final zap there’d been no more and now I’m all zapped out it seams. The supernatural sensation in my wiener had come and gone. Just like that. And no, I hadn’t chummed. Obviously. I was only 6 or 7. Puberty had only flicked my wand, see, not imbued it with procreative power. And hell, I don’t even remember it getting hard. Or any bigger either. I just remember when I pressed down that book it felt good – reeeeally good – for awhile, and then it didn’t anymore.
No sexual thoughts. No physical thoughts at all. It was just a hardcover book weighing down inn my sweet spot the way it’d done hundreds of times before – only now my sweet spot had decided to reveal it’s sweetness…and god, was I ever glad it did!
I read an awful lot thereafter. Not too many paperbacks, though – that shit was too light for me. I needed heavier stories, ya know? Something that could really weigh on me. hehe.
Oh, and I moved off the bed too. Directly into my closet. And there I laid on my back on the floor under my hanging clothes with my head propped up agains the wall and my feet sticking out into my room. At least there I’d have time to quickly reposition myself if someone walked in on me, right? And hilariously enough, it was too dark in the closet to even read – but hey, who the fuck was reading anyway? These books had become my masturbation toys before I ever even knew what masturbation was!
Good times, good times. The only thing I didn’t like was the guilt. And the fear. Cause this had to be wrong, didn’t it? This had to be dirty! I mean, how could it not? It felt good and it involved my wiener! Ooo, Mom and Dad would freak if they knew I was coin this! For real. And Jesus – oh my god, what would Jesus think???
Despite the guilt, though, I kept it up until that golden age of erections and humping sleeping bags in the closet…but the guilt was always there…
And all because of Curious George.
*Erica’s Note* – I remember when I first discovered the joys of masturbation (which is another story for another time). I grew up with a similar religious background to Asher’s and I can attest to the fact that the guilt is REAL. Why? Why do we have to associate pleasure with sinfulness and shame? Go and jerk off without guilt, people. Go and jerk off without guilt.